Copyright © 2018 by Ty Howard. All rights reserved.
It is not out of the ordinary to see people get angry today. Many of us know a three-year-old to six-year-old can get seriously angry too. However, there is a big difference between adults and young kids when it comes to the ways of expressing anger.
Young children usually have a hard time coping with their feelings and emotions. Furthermore, they lack the skills to express them in a socially proper way. Hence kids’ frustration often leads to aggression, tantrums, disrespect, loud outbursts, and other inappropriate behaviors. If you are a parent, early childhood development teacher or a caregiver of a toddler or preschooler, you’ve probably encountered a few of your little one’s temper tantrums already.
Controlling anger is a skill that requires development. We need to teach children – at a very young age – how to manage their feelings and emotions. Every parent, early childhood development teacher or caregiver can do this by teaching their kids healthy anger management skills.
Here are four positive anger management methods for toddlers and preschoolers to start with:
1. Teach Young Kids to Recognize their Emotions and How to Express them in a Proper Way
Controlling anger is a skill that requires development. We need to teach children – at a very young age – how to manage their feelings and emotions. Every parent, early childhood development teacher or caregiver can do this by teaching their kids healthy anger management skills.
Most of the time toddlers and preschoolers do not recognize the difference between angry feelings and out of control emotional behavior. When they are sad, they throw a temper tantrum. When they feel angry or embarrassed, they kick, hit or bite.
Teach your kids to express themselves calmly and politely verbally. Explain to them how to recognize certain feelings so that they can show them appropriately. Talking about their anger or dissatisfaction helps young kids feel in control of their feelings and emotions. Consequently, this reduces a possibility of acting out, embarrassment, and your toddler or preschooler hurting them self or someone else.
If your child bites a friend at a park, let them know that is not acceptable. Tell them, “It is OK to feel mad, but it is not OK to bite.” Or, “I understand that you are sad because I did not buy you that toy. It is OK to cry, but it is not OK to yell and throw yourself around on the floor like that.”
Talk about feelings and emotions with your kids whenever you get a chance. Help them learn to recognize their emotional responses better.
2. Be a Positive Model
Talking is not enough. Show your kids how you deal with your emotions, especially when you feel upset. Remember, children mostly learn by watching you. If you show them that you cope with your anger positively and calmly, they will pick up on that over time. Verbalize your feelings when you feel frustrated or sad. Reinforce positive behavior by modeling it for your kids. They need to understand that adults sometimes get angry too. However, kids also need to see you managing your anger in a socially appropriate manner.
So, the next time when you want to yell, count to ten first. Take a time out and go to another room. Go for a walk to cool off when you feel you’re losing your temper. Teach your kids to act respectfully towards others when they feel angry.
Still, we’re only human. If you lose your temper in front of your young kids, apologize and verbalize your feelings. Explain what made you feel that way and suggest constructive and positive ways to respond to frustration or a potential anger triggering situation.
3. Create Anger Rules in Your Family and Offer Consequences
Establish family rules to let your young kids know which behaviors will be tolerated and which actions will not when it comes to expressing anger or frustration. Make it clear that any form of verbal or physical aggression is unacceptable.
Always respond to positive behavior. Offer positive consequences when your child follows the anger rules. At the same time, follow through with the next lesson for improvement when they do not achieve the standards you established together.
4. Offer Safe Alternatives to Redirect Anger
To safely redirect your little one’s angry feelings or unacceptable behaviors, enroll them in a local soccer club, gymnastics or martial arts classes. Help them burn all that energy through healthy activities that will also teach them the importance of discipline, respect, and positive engagement.
According to recent studies, some kids respond well to relaxation techniques, so you may want to sign your child up for a yoga class for young kids. Or just let them run around in the backyard or a playground under adult supervision. You can also let them hit a few balls off of the t-ball set or tear paper to pieces. Providing physical outlets helps young kids to be active and channel their feelings and emotions through socially appropriate activities.
As long as we can control it, anger is a typical emotional reaction. Be that as it may, young kids will always need some help in learning how to manage their feelings and emotions. The anger management methods shared above will help you to teach and encourage your toddler or preschooler to positively express their feelings and improve the way they respond to frustration or a potential anger triggering situation going forward.
Remember: Our kids are great imitators; they’re impressionable. Be sure you are showing and teaching them the qualities of a ‘consistent’ positive role model.
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Hello! Thank you for visiting and reading this article. What is a positive and effective anger management method you use on a young kid (age 3 through 6)? Kindly tell us in the comment box below. Thank you in advance for sharing!
About the Author: Ty Howard, Mr. Untie the Knots®.
His Credo: True Greatness Is — As True Greatness Does!
Ty Howard is America’s Untie the Knots® Consultant, and Capturing Greatness and Passion Expert. Over the past 21 years, he has spoken to nearly 3 million teenagers, education professionals, early education professionals, student leaders, student athletes, parents, fatherhood groups, youth development professionals, and associations across the nation and around the world. For information on his programs and services, visit: http://capturinggreatness.com.
Ty,
I just love this! Sometimes parents act worse then their 2 yr olds. Kids truly model their parents behaviors.
Thank you Ms. Prudence Slowe for visiting the site again, reading this article, and leaving your greatly appreciated comment. ~ Ty Howard
Ty,
I really like this piece of writing, this is undoubtedly helpful for me.
Thank you for sharing.
I use the talking method and allow kids to reflect on their feelings by prop questions. This really helps me to make them learn to identify their feelings and recognizing the appropriate method to express aggression and sadness.
Thank you, Ms. Maryam Aziz Chohan, for visiting the site, reading this article, and leaving your greatly appreciated comment. It’s good to read and know my article was help. Thank you also for sharing the ‘talking method’. ~ Ty Howard